Failed placement

I sit up in bed at 2:30 am on August 3, 2012! Both Shaileen and myself cannot sleep. We have just had the worst day of our lives. We received a call from our caseworker last night letting us know that J has decided to parent Sawyer. It was the worst news that we could have gotten. It is extremely hard to comprehend right now what has happened. Seeing Sawyer has made us the happiest people in the world and he is so perfect. I think that is what makes this so hard. It is because he is perfect. We would like to ask for prayers in ours, J's, and Sawyer's behalf. We still love J and cannot comprehend the things that have gone through her mind and heart. With going through this adoption process and infertility there have been several times we have been angry at our Father in Heaven. We now realize that we cannot be angry, we our strong people and will make it through anything. It will take a long time with lots more tears but with holding onto each other and propping each other up we WILL make it through this TOGETHER! Again, we would like to thank everyone's continued love and support. Thank you for all you do.