Friday, April 26, 2013

Angel in the House

Last night when I was on my way into work I had the feeling that I should stop by and get a redbox movie so I could watch it on my last night of graveyards. I didn't know why I was supposed to stop though because I had stopped a couple of times before and nothing sounded good at the redbox. Over the past year or so I have been really trying to follow promptings. I sure am glad that I did. The movie that I ended up getting was called Angel in the House. It looked kinda weird but I would recommend it. It matched some of the exact feelings that Shaileen and I have gone through. It is a movie about adoption, fostercare and infertility and the feelings that come with it. At the beginning of the movie the couple were at a fertility doctors office and they were told that they just could not conceive on their own and IVF treatments are thousands and thousands of dollars, with the husbands job failing they just could not afford it. I remember those meetings with the fertility doctor and driving home with Shaileen sad and frustrated because it seemed like we were wasting our time and money. It seemed as if thousands and thousands of dollars were being washed down the drain. Another thing was they were went to a fostercare kind of facility and the worker asked them if they had any of their OWN children. You could tell it hurt the wife deeply. There have been several times where people have asked us not knowing if we had children of our own or when we were going to try to have children. People do not mean to hurt but it is sometimes hard to hear from others. The main thing that hit me during this movie though is when the little boy in the movie said "The only way to be happy is to connect with the present." How true is this statement? We can only handle what is in front of us and not what is behind us. I need to be thankful for what I have. Yes, we have had failed adoption placements in the past but I need to think about and be thankful for the things I do have. The thing that I am most thankful for is Shaileen. She is perfect! As cheesy as it sounds, she completes me. I cannot wait to see her as a Mother. I realize that the best thing we can do right now is become as close as we can as husband and wife and love each other more and more. I read somewhere once that the most important thing a father can do for his children is love their mother. That I can do! Without giving away too much in the movie it also taught me that we can learn from our failed adoption placements. I have already learned so much. I have learned how much I can love our future child and how immediate it is. When we had Karder for those 24 hours I felt a small portion of the love that our Heavenly Father has for us. I look forward to having that feeling again. Yes, I miss Sawyer and Karder so much that I cannot explain it but I know that Heavenly Father has our future in his hands.

Also, Shaileen posted this photo of Sawyer and Karder that I just had to share. I can't wait to see her as a mom. She is going to be the best! I love you babe!


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