Jax's temple sealing

What an incredible feeling it is to be sealed to Jax. Today is one of the days that we have been looking forward to for a very long time. Many people asked us how cool it was to go to court and have the adoption finalized. To us it was alright but today was the day that we were really looking forward to. I think it is so awesome that our Heavenly Father recognizes any adopted child just as if they were born into their adopted family under the covenant when we are sealed to them. When Shaileen and I walked into the sealing room it was incredible to see our family and friends there. We have had such love and support throughout everything we have gone through. Throughout the many heartbreaks in the adoption process it just did not effect just the two of us. It effected our family just as much. That is why it was so great to have them there with us to celebrate our FOREVER FAMILY!

Mostly it is just me that blogs but I really think it is super important to get Shaileen's thoughts from today. Here you go :

So my top moments in life, so far, are:
     1- The day I married my best friend,
     2- The day Jax was born,
     3- Bringing Jax home,
     4- finalizing Jax's adoption,
AND now
     5- the we had Jax sealed to us for time and ALL eternity.

Today was such an incredible experience. To know that no matter what happens in this life, Jax will be ours FOREVER!! This process of adoption has taught me so much. It has taught me to never give up, there is always something brighter to look forward to. It has taught me that no matter how lost you think you are, our Father in Heaven can help guide you back. It has taught me that PATIENCE is definitely a virtue. It has taught me that GOD knows ALL. It has taught me to be a strong, independent, loving, caring, hard working, confident, and funny woman. Adoption has taught me to never take advantage the relationship I have and can have with my children. It has taught me that no matter the struggle I can turn to my Father in Heaven for peace and guidance.
When Jax entered the sealing room he was thrilled, it was almost as if he knew what was about to happen. I sometimes wonder how thin the vale is for him still, and how much of what is happening in his life he knew was going to happen.
Today in the sealing room an overwhelming feeling of gratitude poured over my heart and slapped me in the face. I have so much to be grateful for. I feel as if we are always thanking those that have been a part of this journey with us, BUT sometimes we forget to thank the most important person. In the sealing room today, though everything that was happening, I poured my heart out to my Father in Heaven in silent prayer. I thanked him for this incredible MIRACLE he gave to us. I thanked him for trusting me enough to mother this precious child. I thanked him for allowing me to guide him through this life with his help and the help of my wonderful companion. I thanked him for not giving up on me through the years, and keeping his faith in me even when I wavered in my faith in him. lastly, I thanked him for being my strength, and for listening to me when I was sure no one else was.
I feel so much joy in my heart after today. Nothing will ever compare to the amazing experience of sitting across the alter from my incredible husband and our beautiful son, being sealed for TIME AND ALL ETERNITY!!! I know without a doubt that Jax was meant to be a part of our family. We will forever be grateful to his amazing birth mother Sarrina and the beautiful gift she has given us. She not only gave us the child we had longed for, but a new extended family as well. We love our Birth Family and we are so proud to have them in our lives.
I also just want to add that I would be nowhere without my husband. He has stood by me when others have not, at my lowest and at my highest. I know that God provided Kurt for me. He choose Kurt to be mine so he could teach me to be kind, generous, patient, gentle, soft of heart, and most of all faithful. I love you Kurt Reed Cline. You are mine forever and I cherish that thought. I love you madly and I am beyond grateful to share every moment of every day with you.
AND
Jax... one day you will read this. I want you to know that mommy loves you so much. I cried a million tears before I found you. Daddy and I waited, and waited, and waited and we know that Heavenly Father was finding the most special baby to send to us. I love you more than I can put into words. You have my heart little man. I know that one day you will be a daddy, and if you feel even an ounce of the love I have for you for your children you will be the best daddy around. I loved you before I even knew you existed. I have prayed for hours on end hoping that one day those prayers would be answered... Buddy, my prayers were answered with you. I love you my angel, you are my miracle. xoxo - mommy

I asked Shaileen to come into the computer room and not read what I had written earlier in this post but to just write down her feelings for today. WOW! I have no idea why I am the one that blogs because she can pour her heart out way better than I can. Shaileen, I love you too with all of my heart. You are the woman I had been looking for to marry but more importantly be the mother to our child. I love you!

Jax chooses which temple he wants to be sealed in

We were having such a tough time deciding what temple to have Jax sealed to us. Shaileen thought we should go to the Jordan River temple and I wanted the Salt Lake temple and we both really love the beauty of the Oquirrh Mountain temple in South Jordan. Someone online gave us the idea that we should show Jax the photos of each of the temples and let him choose. We both absolutely loved that idea. This evening we both sad down with Jax on the floor and pulled up photos on the temples on the Ipad and let him go to work. It was obviously hard to tell which one he really liked but from sitting next to him it seemed like he really liked the 2nd temple. I obviously was not watching which one he chose because it was the Jordan River temple (Shaileen's favorite). We are excited to go through the Jordan River temple though especially because that is where my Grandpa worked. He was also on his way there when he passed away. Each time we go there I can feel his presence there with us. We want to go get sealed on 12-28-13 but are not sure if that is a possibility yet because the temple is closed for cleaning currently and can't make an appointment until Monday. If that is when we get sealed we plan to bless him in church hopefully the following Sunday if our bishopric is ok with that. This is the thing that I look forward to most with Jax so far in this whole adoption process. To become not only a family on this earth but for eternity. Man, I love that boy more than the world. I am definately the luckiest Dad in the world.

Jax's Nursery is FINISHED!!!!!

So I finally have finished Jax's nursery!!! It turned out AMAZING! 

ENJOY

I love my little peanut!! He deserves the WORLD! 

One Month Old

Today Jax is officially ONE MONTH OLD!!!! I cannot believe how fast it's gone by. It just seems like yesterday we were in the hospital waiting for him to be born. I just still cannot believe he is ours. We have waited so long for him and it has been 100% worth every second!! Jax is our miracle. We couldn't ask for a more perfect child. He was truly meant to be in our family. All the sorrow all the heartache has been forgotten. 

Jax mommy and daddy love you so much. I hope you know that we never gave up on trying to find you. We knew you were out there... Waiting to become a part of our family. Heavenly father was just molding us into the parents needed to take care of you... To always be there for you... To never take you for granted... To be able to always remind you how special you are... And to ALWAYS, no matter what, love you!!! 

I never knew I could love someone so deeply so quickly. Jax you have completed my heart. You have made it whole. I feel like my whole life has prepared me to become your mommy. I love you more than words can say little peanut. 

Love, 

Always and Forever

Mommy

C-section for Jax

 

 When I left Shaileen and Sarrina left it was the longest hour and a half of my life. They went back to the operating room and they immediatly got started on the C-Section to bring Jax into this world. Sarrina was really struggling with a ton of anxiety grabbing onto Shaileens arm as hard as she could because she was so nervous. We know that she has the kindest heart because during the c-section all she could keep saying to Shaileen is I hope I made you a perfect baby and was worrying that he was going to be very sick and need to be in the hospital for a long time because he was 5.5 weeks early. As a lot of you know c-sections go pretty quick and especially this one did because it was an emergency c-section.

Even though it was quick in the back I was freaking out in the waiting room waiting to know what the status of my new son is as well as Shaileen and Sarrina. I sat there praying over and over for the health of everyone. Jax was born at 7:57pm at 4lb 8oz and 16.5inches long. For the first 15 or so minutes he was not crying so they took him away quick to get him breathing which they eventually did but we also found out that the umbilical chord was wrapped around his next 3 times. The NICU team was right there ready to take him away but with Heavenly Fathers help he did not need to go there. The doctors/nurses showed Sarrina her boy Jax and you can see from the photo the love she has for him.

Like I said earlier I was sitting in the waiting room freaking out because I did not know what was going on and my phone was going off the hook with family and friends wanting to know what was going on.

 

 

Finally Shaileen sent me this photo. It is something I will never forget. Knowing at that time that I was a Dad and our lives had changed forever but for the better. I immediatly felt the stongest love for this little boy that I had never met yet because I had only saw him through this one picture. My testimony grew in that one moment more than it ever has that everything happens for a reason and our Heavenly Father has a plan. Even though it may not go as we want all of the time there is a reason for it.

Shaileen and I put together this quick announcement to put online and text to everyone so that they knew that he was here. Jax, I want you to know how many people are here ready to love you and love you already. You are so perfect in every way. I hope that I am able to live up the the Dad that you deserve. Seeing you for that breif moment made all of the time we waited and the crazy heartbreak worth every second. Shaileen and I have since talked and we both agree that we would do it all over again to have you in our lives. We want you to know that Mom and Dad love you more than anything.

 

Big Boy Jax!!!!

Today Kurt had to work so when he got to the hospital he wanted to soak up every moment!!! Little peanut is so tiny he fits in one hand! 

Sooooooo tiny!!!!!

Our big guy is so amazing. We love him so much. We can't get enough. He is such a miracle and we amazed at how well he is doing. 

I love him so much. I cannot believe how things have turned out for us. Our Heavely Father works in mysterious ways. We are so blessed. I am happier now than I have ever been. I have always wanted to be a mother and tomorrow I officially will be. This is the most amazing feeling in the world I am sure. 

Pure bliss!!!

Big Surprise!!!!

I showed up at the hospital this morning at 6:30. I can't into the nursery and bent down to give my precious little man a kiss and noticed this... 

Our precious little man is so amazing!!! I started to sob when I noticed the oxygen was gone!!!!!! I cannot believe they were able to ween him off the oxygen this fast. When I walked in and saw it was gone and I looked at the nurse and said "Are you serious?" Our nurse said they were able to take it off at about 3:00am. I started to sob. He has been doing so great! Kurt sadly is at work... I text him a picture to let him know and he said "Way to go big boy!!!!!!!"

Jax... Mommy and and daddy are so proud of you! You are do amazing and so strong. We love you and couldn't be more proud of you!!!!!! 

Jax Extravaganza

This morning we decided to finally drive home this morning to get a few hours of sleep. As you probably know we couldn't stand being away from our little peanut so we got up and drive back around 7am. Jax is doing amazing, his blood sugars are perfect and temperature is exactly where it should be. As you can tell from the photos he still needs a little bit of oxygen though. The good news is that they have lowered the levels of what is required though. We are hopin that he can get off the oxygen hopefully tomorrow or possibly tonight. His hair is still all nasty though because they are jot able to give him a bath until he is off his oxygen. I can't wait so see him all cleaned up and looking like a stud. I am so thankful for Shaileen. She has been the rock in this process and Heavenly Father is definately rewarding her for her love and patience. 

The Latest News

Yesterday we were called again just like we were the other day by a caseworker with LDSFS saying that Sarrina was on her way to the hospital with bleeding. She said that she just wanted us to know and when Sarrina got there she would call us and let us know what was going on. Not much after that Shaileen got a call from Sarrina saying that she was alone at the University of Utah hospital and asked us to come be with her to comfort her. We were quite relieved as funny as it sounds to hear that she was at the University hospital because before she was at Pioneer Valley Hospital. If you know anything about that hospital at all you know that she does not want to be there. A little later in the story you will learn why. I was still at our house in Stansbury Park and Shaileen had just showed up to work so I immediatly got dressed and drove in and picked her up and we drove up to the hospital. Well, I shouldn't say immediatly because we trusted Siri to get us there the fastest and she took us to some random clinic that was way far off. Anyways, we finally got to the hospital about an hour or so after Sarrina called us. It was good to see her. The doctors and nurses were still trying to figure out what was going on with bleeding and ordered ultrasounds. When they ordered the ultrasound we found how dumb the tech was at Pioneer Valley Hospital because the baby was no longer breech (we know he could have flipped) but the placenta really did not move off of her cervix like the tech said that it did. The team of doctors determined that it would be best if she stay overnight if not over the weekend even. Sarrina was going to be transfered to another room that was not in the OB Emergency room and said that we could leave if we wanted because she wanted to get some rest. I drove Shaileen back into work so she could get a few more hours in. I laid in the car for about 2 1/2 hours and was able to nap for about 20 or so minutes until my last graveyard shift was up. We are so excited to meet Baby Cline but want him to cook as long as possible so he is as healthy as possible. When the doctors were doing the ultrasound they said that he is measuring, if I remember the numbers right; 4 weeks earlier that she is (30ish weeks) and they are estimating that he weighs somewhere around 3 1/2 pounds. As always we would appreciate everyones continued prayers that he is healthy  and everything goes according to thy will. THank you for your continued support. We truly do appreciate it. Hopefully we wont have too much to update you on for a couple of weeks.

Close call yesterday

Yesterday afternoon around 1:30pm we got a call from Sarrina saying that she was headed to the hospital because she was bleeding quite heavy. Shaileen was the one that spoke with her and she said that she sounded quite scared. From what we remember one of her last pregnancies started labor the same way with heavy bleeding. Shaileen was about ready to head into work because she was working 3-11pm last night. I am working 11pm-7am this week in dispatch because I helped out a coworker by picking up his shift so I drove in with Shaileen to make sure she was not alone at work. I stayed there for about 3 hours until we found out that Sarrina was not going to deliver then went home. It is the weirdest feeling being an adoptive parent through the birthing process of your future child because your hands are tied and all you can do is wait and worry about what is going on. The good news is that the doctors stopped the bleeding after a while, however; they were unable to tell where it was coming from. They sent her home on bed rest and asked her to come back in the next several days. Some more good news is that the placentia moved away from the cervix. We did find out that "Baby Cline" is breech currently though. We are so thankful to be where we are with this adoption process and are anxious to meet Baby Cline. The third time is the charm.

Praying for all in the adoption world

During the processes that we have gone through to get approved to adopt and now waiting/searching to find a child we have felt so many peoples prayers through all our success and struggles.There has been so much support for us and we truly appreciate it more than any of you could ever know. People have passed along our information and that is how we found the first 2 situations. Not just randomly, but because someone remembered us.

I am writing this because if you would be kind enough we would not only like you to pray for us but more to pray for all involved in the adoption world. We as hopeful adoptive parents make up a very small portion of people involved. In each of our prayers we have been praying for comfort for ourselves and patience. More importantly we ask for blessings for expectant parents, their children and their families. We don't pray that they will place their children but we ask that they will be comforted and know what is right for their situation, not ours. I cannot imagine the thoughts that run through the expectant parents heads when contemplating adoption and that is why we ask them to be comforted. With our 2 failed adoption placements we saw first hand how much of a loss it was going to be for not only the expectant parents but also their families.

Again I write this to please keep them in our prayers as well as us as you have already done because we feel them. Thank you.

Delivery Room Vs Sealing Room

On Friday we went to an adoption panel that Families Supporting Adoption put together. It was a panel of adoptive parents that told their stories. It was really good but the thing that hit me most was the quote in the photo. He said "I would trade a delivery room for a sealing room anyday." How true is that and how cool is it also. I have been in 3 sealing rooms when an "adoption sealing" was taking place. It is such an incredible thing to see. Like I said in my previous post it is pretty cool how Heavenly Father understands and allows adoption to complete families eternally. I look forward to the day we are able to take our child to the temple and be sealed. I can just picture us kneeling there together and then looking in the mirrors that symbolize an eternal family.

Adoption Song "What's Mine is Yours"

One of my favorite blogs that I follow posted this video today that is about adoption. WOW! Such a great song and I am so happy that The R House shared it. I am at a loss of words on what to even write about this video. I think the words in the song says enough. Enjoy.

Baby Boys Bookshelves!

I have had this idea for a long time of putting bookshelves on the wall in our little guys room (no name still) but couldn't quite decide exactly what I wanted and how it would really look! I knew exactly where I wanted them to go and that I wanted three of them... But that is it. We decided at the last minute on the way home from work to go to Kurt's favorite store (IKEA)!! While we were meandering through the isles we came upon these cute white shelves and we both looked at each other and knew they were perfect!! We came straight home and put them up! Good thing I taught preschool because we had oodles of book to choose from to fill the shelves with! We also bought a light for the room as well.
I think it turned out great if I do say so myself. We are getting that much closer and we can't wait to meet this little guy. I just want to say how truly grateful we are for "J" and this amazing gift she is giving us!! Enjoy...