The Odd Life of Timothy Green

On Saturday night some of our good friends, William and Brianna, invited us to go to the drive-in. They were up to see any movie for the most part so we talked them into seeing The Odd Life of Timothy Green. We have been wanting to see that movie for a while because it has adoption overtones in the movie. Other adoption bloggers that I follow have seen it and said it was great so that made us even more excited. Before reading the other blogs we were nervous to see it because there are a lot of people that do not understand adoption and can look and talk down on it. Others said to bring lots of tissues as well so we listened and did, boy were we thankful for it. The movie certainly helped us out in our infertility process and helped us to know that it is regular and others are going through the same process. It brought back many feelings that I have had from hearing Shaileen crying in the other room and wanting to do anything and everything to help her but knowing that there is absolutely nothing I can do to help her. In the movie when they find out they cannot have children biologically she says, "we will just get a puppy" and then a minute later states. "I dont want a puppy". That feeling is all to familure with us. We did the exact same thing. We got a dog to fill that void in our lives but then realized that there is no substitution that is the same. Also, the feelings that you get when people say I thought you were going to have one of your own. I dont want to give away too much about the show so I wont say more. I just have to say that you have to go see this movie. It was put together very well. If you know anyone that is going through the infertility/adoption process it will help you understand a little more of what they are going through. We look forward very much to starting this adoption process again and ask for everyones help in not only keeping us in your minds when speaking with others but also keeping us in your prayers. We have hundreds of pass-a-long cards and if anyone is willing to pass them out please let us know and we would love to get you some! We would like to thank everyone for their continued support. Over the last several weeks we have certainly felt others prayers in our behalf for comfort. THANK YOU!

Its getting closer

How can time be flying by but going by so slow at the same time? There is only 19 more days until Sawyer gets here. It seems like our minds our rushing every second of the day trying to figure out what we still need before he gets here. A couple of days ago I made a list on my phone of the things we still need to get and there is not much as it seems. Luckily there are a couple more baby showers with one of them this weekend with the Cline side of the family. Can you tell that we are just so excited to meet him? We want to say thank you so much for your support during this adoption process. With us going to be adopting shortly please dont forget that there are still birth families, adoptive families and children out there. Please keep them in your mind, heart and especially your prayers. We know without a doubt that all of the prayers in our behalf as well as J's certainly helped. Keep your eyes and ears open always to potential senarios. That is how we have found Sawyer. Someone that we see everyday almost knew about us and asked for one of our pass-a-long cards. He gave the card to J and she held on to it for several months until she had made her decision to place. We are forever greatful for that act. If you ever hear of someone that is looking to place or even considering it please let us know. We have other couples pass-a-long cards that we can give you, as well as other names that we know of. Thanks again!

Adopting sealing

Another special day in our family happened yesterday. Alex was sealed to Kimberly and Jason in the temple! We are so happy to have him in our family through the wonderful gift of adoption. Alex sometimes wont let others hold him if Kimberly (his mom) is in the room but in the temple today he was super calm and was as happy as can be. The sealer in the temple said that pretty much all of the time when a child is brought into the temple they are super happy and calm. I can't wait for the day that we are able to do this in about 7 months or so! Thanks for inviting us Kimberly and Jason.

Thoughts today on Adoption

I dont know why but I just had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to write down my feelings today that I am having. Again, I dont know why and this is all off of the top of my head so if it does not make sense I appologize.

I am so very thankful for the gift of adoption and the blessings that it has brought into not only my life but also Shaileen's. It is crazy to think that the placement has not even taken place yet but there are all of these blessings and trials that have made us so much stronger as a couple and individual. It is sad to say but when we started trying to have kids I was not ready to be a Dad and I think I knew that I wasn't ready either. Shaileen had been prepared growing up working at day cares and just having a motherly instinct. Sometimes I feel real bad because in the bottom of my heart I know that this trial that we have gone through with infertility has been for me. It has taught me to become more patient and not take children for grantid. I am so thankful of having Shaileen as a loving spouse to spend literally every second together. I love her so much and am so happy to spend eternity with her. She makes me a better person every day. I cannot wait to see her as a mother.

I am also thankful for the sacrifice of "J". She is one incredible woman and we have grown much love for her in the short time we have known her. It seems as if we have known her for a very long time. We were so nervous to meet her at lunch the first time and I won't lie it was a little ackward at first but after about 5-10 minutes it felt very natural. We sat and talked for either 3-4 hours, I don't remember how long but it was long. It is incredible to think that there is someone out there that trusts us so much that they are going to place with us. What an incredible gift she is able to provide. We are excited to grow even closer to her in the future and build that loving relationship for the little one. It is very important to Shaileen and I for our son to know who "J" is. I know that he is going to have a loving relationship with her as well.

Again, sorry if that did not make any sense. I would like to thank the people that follow our blog and have supported us through this adoption process and that will continue to support us. We Love You!

Kurt and Shaileen
(if she agrees with what I wrote, haha)

Sonogram

Today we had a great day so far. This morning we went to softball with Carlye and had a blast. Carlye hit a homerun, two triples and a single. I am enjoying coaching her team so much. Today we found out that she made allstars and I am going to help coach them. Shaileen was not as excited but she will put up with it. At 12:30 we met up at the park with J and had a BBQ. She was sweet enough to bring the sonograms. It is so neat being able to see him. We absolutely adore J and appreciate her kindness. Shaileen was also able to feel him kick. She said that he is going to be a soccer player! What a great day... tonight we are going to go up to the Utah Blaze game! woohoo

His heartbeat

This afternoon was absolutely incredible! We had one amazing experience. J asked us to come to her doctors appointment. We are so thankful for her kindness and thoughtfulness to ask us to come. We adore her Shaileen at the last moment pulled out her phone and recorded the sound of his heartbeat! 

WE HAVE BEEN CHOSEN!

This past week has been one of the most amazing weeks of our lives. As you may have heard we were chosen by one amazing lady to be parents. We were initially not looking forward to this weekend with it being Mothers Day and having a failed placement recently. It was such a special experience to spend Mothers Day with Shaileen and to be able to tell our family that they were going to have another/first BOY come into the family. I decided after we had contact with her that I wanted to write down my feelings and how the story really went. So here it goes. (I have changed her name to "J" just for her privacy)

"About 1 week ago we decided to put Shaileen's wedding dress up for sale on KSL.Com classifieds. It was not doing us any good sitting in a closet in our basement collecting dust. We didn't think we would get a call anytime soon because we listed it really high because we were not in a hurry. On Cinco de Mayo in 2012 we were getting all dressed up in our fancy clothes to go to one of my good friends sealing/marriage in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple and my phone started ringing and it was a phone number that I was not familiar with. I answered and a female on the other end asked if this was Kurt. I said it was and then she asked how to pronounce Shaileen's name. I was sure she was going to ask for Shaileen to ask her about specifics about the wedding dress. The next thing that came out of her mouth really surprised me. She said,"I am 6 months pregnant with a little boy." I thought to myself for a moment what the heck that had to do with a wedding dress. She then went on to tell us that someone that she knew gave her our pass-a-long card. She has been looking at our profile and really likes us and wants to possibly meet us in the near future. We then talked for about 15-20 minutes about some specifics about adoption. It is incredible how much her mind was made up that she was going to place her boy for adoption because she knows that is what is going to best for him. We are so excited to meet her and talk to her again hopefully in the near future. After the call we rushed to the temple to make it to the sealing of my friend. It was a little more special than usual sitting in the temple because I was not only contemplating our friends ceremony but I was thinking of the joy we are going to have as a family when it comes time to be sealed to our child for all eternity. The rest of the day we were sitting on cloud 9 thinking, hoping, praying, and thanking our Heavenly Father for answering our many many prayers that we gave and other close family and friends as well. "

On Saturday afternoon we met with J. We were sooooo nervous/excited to meet her. We hit it off real fast and ended up talking for over 3 hours while we enjoyed some great food at Red Robin. We have such a respect for J and cant wait for our relationship to grow even more.

Today we are getting off work 2 hours early to go to the hospital with J. It is her 28 week checkup. We are so excited to hear his heartbeat and be there to experience that. I don't believe many adoptive parents get that opportunity and when she asked us if we would like to go with her we were first shocked, but then very excited and thankful.

As you know we will certainly keep you updated on the process of this adoption. We thank you all very much for your continued support. You have no idea what that means to us to know that people really care. 

Shaileen & Kurt

APPROVED!

We are so ecstatic because we are APPROVED and online finally! We are so happy because it is a long busy road to get to where we have come. The fun part is ahead in the waiting/finding stage! This is where we need everyone's help. We have learned that most placements take place when someone whether it is us, friends or family actually find a situation for us. This is why we ask everyone to keep us in your constant prayers and conversations with others. Please do not be afraid to tell others about us because maybe that will help bring a child into our home! We love each of you and appreciate your support. Feel free to check out our profile online. You can find it at https://www.itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/26485508/ourMessage.jsf !

Infertility night

While I was at work today I had a strong feeling that it was important that we go to the infertility night with Friends supporting adoption (FSA)! I am very glad that we went because it was something that we needed! It is so nice to get with others that have the same issues as we do! The speaker was excellent! She mostly taught us the things that will help us become more successful with dealing with infertility! We recognized how we can do things both physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually! I have personally taken some things from that class that makes me want to be consistently a better person! We have grown to love FSA!

We Passed!

Tonight we had our home inspection! Our caseworker came by and did a walk through of our home to make sure that is a safe place for a child to live (which of course we passed with flying colors!) and then we just discussed our profile. She said everything looked great and that she wouldn't change a thing (but maybe a few spelling errors... lol)! We were so excited when she said she would be able to finish our home study this next week and that we should be all approved and ready to go for our profile to be online through www.itsaboutlove.org in TWO WEEKS!! It feels like it has taken forever for us to get to this point. I feel like Kurt and I have grown so much by going through this. I know I at least have such a greater love for him now than I ever thought imaginable! Kurt is my ROCK and I am so lucky to have him. I am so excited to be in this new finding phase of this whole process! As always we ask that you keep us in your thoughts and prayers! Thanks!

Preparing for our home study!

It's time for our home study finally which is pretty much our final step of the approval process that we have to do! It has been a long time coming and we are excited to finally get our names out there. We bought some child door handle safety thingys! (yes that is the technical term) door opening stoppers, a fire extinguisher, we already had a carbon monoxide and smoke detectors but we decided that we better be safe so we got a couple more! After out caseworker comes over tomorrow and we hopefully get her approval she will give us some things she may like us to change on our profile. Then she will take us to a caseworker panel an they will make sure we are ready by an overall vote (the way I understand it anyways)! It is so nice to see all of this work come to fruition kind of. We have some more waiting and searching but we are happy of the accomplishments that we have made! It is cool that we are completing the application process during the national adoption month! We have grown to love adoption! This Saturday we are going to a party with Families Supporting Adoption ( FSA) at boondocks. We look forward to meeting more adoptive couples, adoptees, and birth mothers!

Final Adoption Video

So, I finally finished our adoption profile video and am very happy with how it turned out. It is fun to go back through all of our photos to see all of the fun times that we have had lately. It was hard though because I am the photographer so we have tons of pictures of Shaileen but not too many of me!

1st Adoption Book

We went to the Adoption classes this past weekend and we decided after that we wanted to get an adoption book for our child! The one we purchased today is called "I wished for you!" We are so excited to meet our child one day and be able to teach them how they came into this world. I think it is a great book cause it teaches about their birth mother as well! We are soooooo close to being approved.

Day #2 of Adoption Classes!

Today is probably one of the best days Shaileen and myself had as a couple in a very long time. We have been waiting for these classes for a long time to be offered. We have always wondered what it would be like to have an open adoption and before today we had an idea what it was but it is so much more and so much deeper. One of the first things we had this morning is a Adult Adoptee panel where the talked and there was a question and answer session. It was so nice to hear the position of where each of them stood. Almost everyone of the individuals on this panel did not have much if any contact with their birth parents because open adoption hadn't really been an option back then. The main point that they wanted to make was they wanted us to make sure we as adoptive parents kept whatever promises we said we would promise. Each of them wished that they had at least some knowledge of who they are and where they came from. The part of the classes that really hit both Shaileen and I was the Birth Parent Panel. My sister has adopted and we have seen the relationship between my nephew and his birth mother but it has never been a first person experience for us. We learned that birth parents are probably some of the strongest people that you will ever meet. They love their biological children and can't be promised things and not have adoptive parents not follow through. I can't even imagine being a mother and birthing a child and shortly there after you were promised to see the child and all ties were broken off. Shaileen and I vowed at this seminar that we would only make promises that we are able to keep. We have learned that it is healthy for the child to grow up knowing who their birth parents are. When we adopt the birth parents will be come adopted into our family forever as well as permanent members. We truly have a love for each and every birth mother out there and continually pray for them to have strength and peace. We are so excited to be able to meet the child that is meant for our family and look forward to the searching phase of this adoption process. We appreciate everyone's continued support and especially our close family. We love all of you!

DAY #2

Just walking out of the adoption classes with our book, salad and a yummy cupcake!

Day #1 of adoption classes

We were able to attend the first session of our adoption classes last night! It was a great, wonderful and humbling experience! It was nice because there were several other couples there and at least when I walked in I thought "we are screwed cause this is our competition." I think the spirit works in miraculous ways though because one of the FSA chair guys said right off the bat that we were probably thinking this. It to remember that our heavenly father has a plan for each of us and a child is meant for our family. I was so great full to hear that. The next part is when we sat down as a group and talked about our infertility! This was good because when we usually talk to others about infertility they usually have no idea what we are going through. Our favorite thing was the adoptive parent panel. It was so nice to hear other stories especially to hear how it went from struggles to happiness. We will always need to remember that struggles will never end. We really look forward to our classes this morning and you will certainly hear from us!

Looking forward to classes!

We have been waiting 3 months to be able to go to the adoption classes tomorrow and Saturday! It is one of the last steps before we are fully approved! YAY! It has been a long road coming. We are excited about the classes to be able to learn. There are supposed to be birth parent panels, birth mother panels, and even children that have been adopted! It will be nice to learn as much as possible as we can about adoption so we are able to handle the situations we are given as parents the best we can! We were given this huge book to read before we go tomorrow as well, I am about 3/4 of the way through it so I am glad today is slow at work so far so I can read it! Keep an eye out for our post on how the meeting went! We appreciate everyone's continued support!

Adoption Story!

So we have been told that we need to read a book before our adoption classes later this month and I read this short story and it hit really close to home for both Shaileen and I. It truely says how we feel and the tough times we have gone through but shows that there WILL BE a light at the end of the tunnel and it will be just as bright or brighter as if we went the way most others do. I hope you enjoy this as much as we did!

Different Trips to the Same Place

Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it is a wonderful place, you've read many guidebooks and feel you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being papered on the trip.

So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding places for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipation a wonderful trip, you wait- and wait- and wait.

Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a place and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair."

After a long time the ticket agent tells you, " I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."

"BY BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money, I really had my heart set on going by plane." So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than by air. Buy you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.

It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by tour long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than by air.

People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are able to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy."

You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know GOD blessed you with a special appreciateion of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.

by: Diane Armitage

April 21, 1995 "Dear Abby" column

Adoption: Personal Interviews

This past Monday Shaileen and I took a couple hours off of work to go and have our personal interviews to finish one more step to be qualified for adoption. I was a little bit apprehensive to go in because as you may know I am not a talker and don't like to talk (especially about myself). Going in we were told to expect about an hour interview for each of us. Shaileen went in first and I sat in the foyer and took a nice nap! About an hour later she walked out and it was my turn to go in! The interview was not bad at all it was just a bunch of questions to ensure we are fit to adopt! You know I am not a big talker because I was in there for barely over 20 minutes. I like to get to the point and Shaileen likes to elaborate! We were really excited because we found that we are going to be fully approved probably about 1-2 months earlier than we expected. We still have to do our home study where our caseworker come to our home and makes sure we are fit to have a kid. We went and purchased a fire extinguisher and some more co detectors because they are required. We went home to check our smoke alarm and it was out of batteries so that is next on the list! We are so excited to be getting to the end of this process because it has been a long time coming and we want to be available for birth parents to be looking for us! We would appreciate all of our friends, family, or anyone reading this to keep us in your prayers during this process because we certainly need this! Also, as we always say keep us in our minds as people may bring up the possibility of adoption and please do not hesitate to bring up our names! When our application process is complete we are going to be making pass-a-long cards which are kind if like business cards that we can hand out! We love you and appreciate everyone!

Physical for adoption...

Today we went in for our physicals to get one step closer to finish our adoption application process. It was one thing I was not looking forward to doing because I have not been to the doctor for myself since having to get a physical before going to scout camp when I was probably 15. It was not too bad. Shaileen thought it was going real well until the doctor asked have you had your hepatitis shots and we had to say "I don't know", then he asked the same thing about our tetnis shots, and we had to say that we didn't know as well. So we got a total of 3 shots and our blood drawn. :) I told the nurse after they took my blood if I could at least get an apple juice or something because that is what you get when you give blood. She said I could have a sucker on the way out if I wanted...you better believe that I took a sucker and boy did it make my arm feel better. After, we ran all of the paperwork that we had up to the LDS Family Services Center and dropped it off. Now all we have to do is get our birth parent letter, teaser and a couple other things completed. Then we need our personal interviews which we will probably schedule this coming week and then our home visit. We are getting so excited and look forward to getting our names out there. We do ask for anyone reading this to keep us in your minds and prayers and if anyone brings up adoption feel free to bring up our names in conversation. Having a network of people putting our names out there will help we believe. Thank you and we love you!

Adoption Paperwork

About 2 weeks ago we walked out of the adoption intake quite overwhelmed with all that we were told that we had to do and fill out. The good news is we have been well on our way to getting our profile up on itsaboutlove.org. Let me be the first to say that there is a ton of paperwork to fill out. We have completed:

1. contact information


2. personal information


3. marriage information


4. employment information


5. church information


6. references


7. release of information


8. financial statement


9. Health Insurance information


10. Parents Background


11. Siblings background


12. Husband Matching Sheet


13. Wife Matching Sheet


14. Questionaire for Me


15. Questionaire for Shaileen


16. Child Preferences


17. Birth conditions


18. Contact with Parents


19. Getting to know us form


20. Contact couple form


21. Certified Copies of Marriage License


22. Certified Copies of both Birth Certificates


23. Temple Marriage Certificate


24. Employement Verification


25. Infertility Verification

I feel that we have done pretty good with getting on our way. We are to the difficult things now. Not that it should take long but hard to know what to say. We are trying to put together our birth parent letter which is the letter that potential birth parents first read when they look at our profile. It is difficult because there is sooooo much to say but we want to make it really show who we are without boring them. Also we are deciding what photographs to put on our profile. This is difficult because as you probably know I am a little into photography and we were looking on our computer and we have over 70,000 photographs. Its hard to narrow it down but I think we pretty much know which ones we are going to choose now for the most part. We continually pray for guidance and strength to make it though this process. Birth parents are always in our prayers. We do not understand what they are going through but through continual study about adoption we have learned about their strength and great courage to look seek what is best for their child rather it be through adoption or not. I do not think I have ever asked for it but if you are reading this we would like to ask anyone that is willing to keep us and all birth parents in your prayers. We know that our heavenly father hears each and every one. Thank you for all of your continued support.