Monday, July 29, 2013

Shaileen's talk about our family (incredible)

Good afternoon brothers and sisters. I am glad to be speaking to you today. I am one of the few people in this world that really do enjoy this. 
I was asked to introduce our family and speak on "How do I keep my covenant to always remember the Savior?" I am going to try and combine the two together. 

Ok so Kurt and I met in high school. He was a senior and I was a junior. We were both major choir geeks and so we met while being the teachers assistant in each others class. We became really good friends but never actually dated in high school. We both really liked each other but were in other relationships at the time. Three years after we graduated he found me on Facebook. We went on our first date a month later, 17 days after that he told me he loved me, we were engaged 8 moths later and married 4 moths after that. We were married April 16th 2009 in the Salt Lake Temple. 
We just adopted the most perfect little man ever. He was born July 6th and is our miracle child. 
A little bit about Kurt: he is a SOFTY!!!! A great big teddy bear. He loves everyone and never says a bad thing about anybody. He is an incredible singer and also plays the trumpet. He loves 4 wheeling, golfing, and blogging.  He isa HUGE sports fan. His favorite teams are the packers the jazz the braves but number one is byu football!! He is the baby in his family he has two sisters and one brother with 7 nieces and nephews. 
I love music, singing dancing you name it. I am a big crafter. I a also very outgoing... Some people call me loud. Haha I am the biggest crybaby on the planet. I have a mixed family. My parents divorced when I was ten so I have to full sisters, one half sister that who is only 10 and I love it., and I have 5 step siblings three of which are married. 

When Kurt and I got married I knew, because of some medical issues that I was diagnosed with at an earlier age, that it would be difficult to conceive a child so we started trying almost immediately. After a year trying on our own we decided to go see a fertility specialist. We started fertility treatments right away. Month after month passed with no results. I started to get more and more impatient and more and more depressed. I hate to say it but I began to get upset with Heavenly Father. As a woman of our faith we are taught our goal in life is to multiply and replenish the earth so why wasn't I able to fulfill that. Kurt and I decided to look at our life and see if there was anything we needed to change. I thought about the relationship I had with my savior. I thought about what I could do to strengthen that relationship. 
We started to go to the temple more often, and pray for different things. Not just to get pregnant but for help with patience and realizing that a child will not come to us in our time but in the lords.  We remembered the triad and that it takes three to have a successful marriage. From that moment we tried to remember that in every decision we had to make it shouldn't just be between Kurt and myself but we should always include our savior as well.  We prayed about even the smallest of decisions. 
After a year and a half of invasive treatments and zero success our doctor called us in for a "meeting". He sat Kurt and I down and to make along story short basically told me that we had less than a 3% chance of ever being able to conceive and that we needed to explore other options such as adoption or surrogacy. Needless to say we were devastated. I cried I think for days. I thought my life was over. I never wanted anything more in life than to become a mother. I used to ask for a baby for Christmas when I was little girl. I always knew that was my calling in life. 

In sacrament a few weeks later I thought about how we promise to remember the Savior always.  How to look at his example he set and all of the teaching we have been given to help guide our every decision. I thought about that When we face trials, if we look to Him for comfort and strength that Heavenly Father has promised that his spirit will always be with us. So... we decided to go to the temple to seek answers, to get strength, and to feel the peace of the spirit. We went in with a pure openness of heart, knowing whatever the outcome we would be ok. We came out of the temple that evening with with 100% surety that adoption would be the ONLY way for us to grow our family. 

We almost immediately contacted LDS Family Services and took all the classes and filled out all the paperwork as quickly as we could. We were up on their website for birth mothers to view November 16th 2011.  We were incredible lucky and were contacted and chosen by a birth mom just 3 moths later.  She was pregnant with a little boy due and  was scheduled  to deliver him July 31st. We went thought the whole process with her. We were asked to go to all  of her appointments and when it came time for her c-section Kurt and I were both in the delivery room. I was the first one to hold him. We stayed those first two days  with her and the baby in the hospital. We left the hospital the second night and were to sign papers the next morning. We received a call from our caseworker that night letting us know she had changed her mind and that she was going to parent. So another devastation. We took some time to grieve, and to just be with each other. Or caseworker asked when we would like to get put back on the website and we said immediately. We didn't want to lose any chance at finding our child.  We were incredibly blessed and two months later we were chosen again. The same thing with this one.. We had 5 months to prepare. It was a boy again. When he was born there were some legal issues to work out still with the birth father so we only signed temporary custody papers and we brought him home. 24 hours later we received a call that the birth mom changed her mind and they came to pick him up. Devastating. At this point I was ready to give up. 
After hours of prayer We knew our child was out there. We decided that when its meant to happen it will happen.  This one happened march 1st this year.  We got back on the website again almost immediately.  
Throughout this we tried to remember the savior in our thoughts everyday, knowing in doing so the spirit would be there to comfort us. 
Elder D. Todd Christofferson in a talk said...
Looking unto the Savior “in every thought” is, of course, another way of saying “always remember him.” As we do, we need not doubt or fear. He reminds us that through His Atonement He has been given all power in heaven and earth (see Matthew 28:18) and has both the capacity and the will to protect us and minister to our needs—“Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet.” We need only be faithful and we can rely implicitly on Him and His grace.

We knew that as long as we lived our life the way we should he would protect us and minister to our needs. 

We started to take time for ourselves... to strengthen us. There was a study done in 2011 that couples who make it through infertility are more likely to stay married forever than any other situation. We tried to spend as much time as we could just being together. 
 I applied for and accepted a new job. The hours are opposite of Kurt's. we thought that would be perfect so when we did finally have a child we wouldn't have to place them in daycare. We started to look for a new house and miraculously were able to purchase this one. Everything started to work out. I was happy again!!!! On fathers day we received the call. 
My cousin called and said she knew someone who wants to place her baby for adoption. She asked if she could give her our info and of course we said yes. The next day she called us and said she had chosen us. She was due August 5th. She was admitted to the hospital for some complications just two weeks later and they delivered our son Jax on July 6th. The doctors were estimating he would only be 3.5lbs so they had the NICU team ready to take him. He surprised us all and was 4lbs 8ozs. He wasn't breathing at first but after just a few minutes they got him going and he never had to go to the NICU.  They took us to go see him.  We just knew he was ours. We finally had met our son. The spirit was so strong when we got to see him for the first time. We knew without a doubt that all of the heartache we had gone through all of the trials were to prepare us for our incredible miracle. The savior truly does watch out for us. He is always protecting us. Even in my darkest hour he would find small ways to remind us that he was there and he was just waiting for the perfect child and the perfect time.  We are so incredibly blessed. I consider myself the luckiest woman in the world. I know that without the help of the savior we would still be childless. We will forever be grateful and we now know that he really wants nothing but the best for all of us. We just need to always  remember what he did for us and remember that his spirit will always be with us as longs we always remember him and keep him as a constant part of our lives. 
I love this gospel and I am so lucky to have it in my life!! I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen