Monday, March 11, 2013

Cant sleep cause can't stop thinking

It has only been a week since baby was taken out if our home. Most days are decent but today I could not get him off of my mind. I keep thinking of where he is at, how is he doing, is he getting what he needs. We were fully invested in this baby boy for almost 5 months getting ready and preparing. We were in with our hearts 100%. I keep wondering what I am doing wrong to stop Shaileen from becoming the mother that not only she deserves to be but our future son or daughter deserves. It is hard to see her not only sad but hurt. She deserves so much more. I am laying on the couch right now because I don't want to disturb Shaileen's sleep and I keep thinking that this is the exact position I was laying in just a week ago sleeping with baby right on my chest the happiest man in the world it is scary how fast things can be taken away. I know deep down that things will be ok but I just keep wondering why. WHY?


  1. Aw this just breaks my heart. You guys aren't doing anything wrong. Are you guys seeing a counselor to help you sort our your grief?