6 Month Check-up

It was time for Jax's 6 month check-up this past Monday. We had been looking forward to going because we wanted to see how much bigger Jax had gotten. The doctor was so impressed with Jax and where he is developmentally. The sad thing is he had to get 4 shots as well as the rotovirus. Luckily he didn't have such a negative reaction to the shots this time around compared to his last appointment. He was sore that night but we can handle that compared to the 2-3 days it affected him last time. 

When we left the doctor gave us his growth charts which is what we were most excited to see. They were as follows which you can see below as well:

-Length - 23.75 inches... in the 0.01%tile

-Weight - 14.34 lbs... in the 2.53%tile

-Head Circumference - 16.24... in the 2.76%tile

-Weight/Height... in the 79.06%tile

This means he is really small but is a chunker. Last time we went in he was in the 95%tile for weight/height so he has "thinned" out a little bit.  As parents we are so proud of this little man and look forward to seeing him continue to progess and can't wait to see the little dude that he is going to be. 

Later that night we decided that we wanted to feed Jax fruit for the first time. As you can guess he loved it. The first fruit he tried was peaches. Since then he has tried several other things. He is a champ when it comes to eating. 

Jax got to spend a day in his birth mothers room

We were finally released from the NIY nursery and were able to go spend the rest of our stay in Momma Sarrina's room. Momma Sarrina had not held Jax yet because she did not feel comfortable with all of the drugs from the c-section she was on so she was excited for him to come to her room and spend some time with him. 

Some family was coming over and Jax had not had a bath yet because he was just barely off oxygen. Shaileen got his hair all wet and did his hair. 

It was finally bath time

With Jax being so small and a premie they said that he was going to lose his temperature after his bath so they asked Shaileen to do at least 30 minutes of skin to skin time to get his temperature back up. Jax loved every second of this. This is one of my favorite photos of Shaileen ever. She is an instamommy.

Jax has been eating like a champ (as long as we can keep him awake) he started eating 1oz and is up to 2.5 - 3 oz now. He is such a stud.

Big Boy Jax!!!!

Today Kurt had to work so when he got to the hospital he wanted to soak up every moment!!! Little peanut is so tiny he fits in one hand! 

Sooooooo tiny!!!!!

Our big guy is so amazing. We love him so much. We can't get enough. He is such a miracle and we amazed at how well he is doing. 

I love him so much. I cannot believe how things have turned out for us. Our Heavely Father works in mysterious ways. We are so blessed. I am happier now than I have ever been. I have always wanted to be a mother and tomorrow I officially will be. This is the most amazing feeling in the world I am sure. 

Pure bliss!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAX

Meet our son Jax Reed Cline! We are on cloud nine right now. These last 4 years have all been worth it because of today. He is the perfect little guy. It is crazy how you can instantly love someone as much as I do. We are so happy with how well he is doing. We are surprised that he only needs oxygen a little bit just to be safe and not in the NICU. Wow, we will get more posts coming soon. Thanks again...

Waiting room thinking

As I sit here in the waiting room waiting for Jax to be born. I can't help but think of all the prayers of love and support have had over the last several years. The trip even thinking about it. Jax Is so loved   Already by so many people and he is not even born yet. I am so excited to meet him and give him the biggest hug and kiss and tell him how much we love him and how long we have been waiting to call him our son. He must be one special little boy to have us wait this long for him. Jax, mom and dad love you!

Close call yesterday

Yesterday afternoon around 1:30pm we got a call from Sarrina saying that she was headed to the hospital because she was bleeding quite heavy. Shaileen was the one that spoke with her and she said that she sounded quite scared. From what we remember one of her last pregnancies started labor the same way with heavy bleeding. Shaileen was about ready to head into work because she was working 3-11pm last night. I am working 11pm-7am this week in dispatch because I helped out a coworker by picking up his shift so I drove in with Shaileen to make sure she was not alone at work. I stayed there for about 3 hours until we found out that Sarrina was not going to deliver then went home. It is the weirdest feeling being an adoptive parent through the birthing process of your future child because your hands are tied and all you can do is wait and worry about what is going on. The good news is that the doctors stopped the bleeding after a while, however; they were unable to tell where it was coming from. They sent her home on bed rest and asked her to come back in the next several days. Some more good news is that the placentia moved away from the cervix. We did find out that "Baby Cline" is breech currently though. We are so thankful to be where we are with this adoption process and are anxious to meet Baby Cline. The third time is the charm.

I Like Adoption

Today I was searching blogs like I do almost everyday and ran across The R House's Blog . She does an incredible job on each of her blogs but today hit me hard. I just about started crying here at work. Watch the video below. One of my favorite quotes went something like, "you can't choose which family you are born into biologically, however my parents picked me out individually out of millions of people." How true is that. Our children are going to be so loved. I truly believe our struggles with infertility have been for me. It has made me more patient, understanding and have more of a love for children than I had before. I look forward to the day that we can walk into the temple and be sealed not only for the time here on this earth but for all eternity. How incredible is it that even though they will not be born to us Heavenly Father still recognizes them as part of our family forever.

Adoption Song "What's Mine is Yours"

One of my favorite blogs that I follow posted this video today that is about adoption. WOW! Such a great song and I am so happy that The R House shared it. I am at a loss of words on what to even write about this video. I think the words in the song says enough. Enjoy.

Our story and views on open adoption

We knew from early in our marriage that adoption was most likely going to be the way that we were going to build our family. We have family that has adopted their children. They have an open adoption with their birth families that is healthy. To begin with we used to look at open adoption as a weird thing and not sure if we could do it ourselves. This all changed one day when we had our adoption classes to get fully approved to adopt. We were anxious to go to these classes to learn and meet people in the adoption community. We did both of those things but more than that we had our eyes opened wide to the adoption process, especially about open adoption. Our favorite parts were the panels of people that would come talk to us. There was a birth parent, adoptee, adoptive parent and also a special needs adoptive parent panel. We did not expect it but we walked out of those classes in tears because of how much we learned but I think it was the spirit that touched us as well. We learned of how much love parents have on both sides of the adoption for their child. There is a huge misconception that birth familes place their children for adoption and never think or want to do anything with them again. This is further from the truth from the panels we had listened to. Shaileen and I certainly have love for the birth families as well. We have talked and we consider when we adopt that they are equally a part of our families as our immediate family. We believe it is healthy for a child to know where they came from as well. In our family they will know of their birth family and know that they love them. I could write all day long on open adoption but I will cut it short today because I should probably work. Like always, I want and need to thank everyone for their continued support through everything we have gone through in our lives.

 

What you should and shouldnt say about Adoption

November is National Adoption month so I wanted to put together a couple posts this month that have to do with adoption. I first want to say that we absolutely love adoption and what it has brought into our lives so far even though we have not adopted yet. Well my topic that I am posting on today is proper adoption verbage. I truly believe when anyone talks about adoption they do not mean to be mean or hurt others feelings. However, there is some adoption verbage that can do harm. I want to make people around us aware of these things so when we adopt or others adopt they are aware.

~ Placed vs Given up ~
This is a big one in our books. The correct verbage is placed for adoption rather than given up. When someone uses the verbage "given up" it insinuates that the child was not wanted. In all reality birth parents have tons of love for their child. When you use the words gave up it can also make the child feel like they were not wanted which is the furthest from the truth. There will always be a special bond between the child and birth parents.

~Matched vs Chosen~
When someone says that the adoptive parents were matched with the birth parents. It makes it sound like the adoptive parents didn't have a choice and whatever they were presented with was the only choice they had. We firmly believe that we are not only looking for a child but we are looking for our child. When we are chosen we ask for a spiritual confirmation that we are supposed to parent the child. Also, birth parents have the same responsibility in choosing someone that they feel comfortable with. They need that confirmation as well as they will be going through the toughest thing ever in placing.

~Real Mom/Dad~
When it comes to what to call the 1st parents it can become a little tricky. Everybody in the adoption triad may like to be referred to different than someone else. The thing to keep in mind is how would you feel if you were called what you are calling them. As well as how would the child feel. Some of the names the first parents like to be called is birth mom/dad, first parents, biological parents, natural parents, etc. Some people would like to be called one name rather than others. It may be smart to ask them what they prefer. This can also confuse a child because the childs "adoptive parents" are the ones taking care of them on a daily basis but they will also know about and coorespond with their birthparents in an open adoption.

~Once you adopt you will have one of your "own"~
This phrase can become really frustrating as an adoptive parent for several reasons, I will name a few. The first and foremost is as an adoptive parent we consider and child we have as our own, just as if we had given birth to them. They are just as good and we love them the exact same. Also, most couples that are adopting have fertility issues. We have gone to doctors, fertility specialists, had surgerys and more to try to fix the problem. Couples will always have issues relating to infertility even after they adopt. It does not resolve that issue. Yes, there are people that have miracles but it is certainly not common as people think.

I write these things not to put down but to educate. Like I always say we appreciate everyone that has helped us through our adoption process, kept us in their prayers, in their thoughts and talked to others about us and spread the word. Thank you!

Best present

I have to take a moment and thank everyone for their continued support in our adoption to build and find our family. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that we have the absolute best family and friends and even strangers that are willing to help us. As many of you have probably received from us we have pass-a-long cards with our information. Recently there have been a couple people that we know of that have passed them out to others for us. That is such an incredible selfless gift that we are so thankful for. We know that our child is out there somewhere and we need to find them. If you want some pass-a-long cards please let us know. Again thank you for all you do!

You can see an example of our pass a long card on the right side if this bar. If you click on it it will take you to our adoption profile on itsaboutlove.com !

The Odd Life of Timothy Green

On Saturday night some of our good friends, William and Brianna, invited us to go to the drive-in. They were up to see any movie for the most part so we talked them into seeing The Odd Life of Timothy Green. We have been wanting to see that movie for a while because it has adoption overtones in the movie. Other adoption bloggers that I follow have seen it and said it was great so that made us even more excited. Before reading the other blogs we were nervous to see it because there are a lot of people that do not understand adoption and can look and talk down on it. Others said to bring lots of tissues as well so we listened and did, boy were we thankful for it. The movie certainly helped us out in our infertility process and helped us to know that it is regular and others are going through the same process. It brought back many feelings that I have had from hearing Shaileen crying in the other room and wanting to do anything and everything to help her but knowing that there is absolutely nothing I can do to help her. In the movie when they find out they cannot have children biologically she says, "we will just get a puppy" and then a minute later states. "I dont want a puppy". That feeling is all to familure with us. We did the exact same thing. We got a dog to fill that void in our lives but then realized that there is no substitution that is the same. Also, the feelings that you get when people say I thought you were going to have one of your own. I dont want to give away too much about the show so I wont say more. I just have to say that you have to go see this movie. It was put together very well. If you know anyone that is going through the infertility/adoption process it will help you understand a little more of what they are going through. We look forward very much to starting this adoption process again and ask for everyones help in not only keeping us in your minds when speaking with others but also keeping us in your prayers. We have hundreds of pass-a-long cards and if anyone is willing to pass them out please let us know and we would love to get you some! We would like to thank everyone for their continued support. Over the last several weeks we have certainly felt others prayers in our behalf for comfort. THANK YOU!

1 week later...

It has been a week since we found out about our failed placement. It has been the hardest time of our lives but we are
Doing much better than we expected. We are so thankful to our family and friends that have been there for us. We have been trying to find positive things we can get out of this trial in our lives. We have found that we can build our relationship as a husband and wife even better. We want to have a relationship that our future son or daughter would want their parents to have. We are also going to take the opportunity to be as financially stable as we can. I am so thankful for Shaileen, I could not have a better wife on the planet. She is so great in putting up with my faults as a husband and making me the best man, husband and future father! I cannot wait for the day Shaileen is a Mother. She is such a loving, caring, humble, and nothing but perfect person. This past week has been tough but it has been so nice spending every second with Shaileen. We have had the opportunity to reflect, talk things through, and cry together ! It has helped this grieving process so much. I have to say that we are not looking forward to going back to work on Monday and getting back to regular life even though we know that is what is best for both of us. We just don't want all of the questions that will open up those feelings we are trying to push through. We have gotten lots of these questions already and have done great with them but we are both scared of the ones to come. With faith and prayer we can and will make it through this huge trial in our lives. We have felt so many prayers in our behalf already and it is hard to ask this but we would like to ask for prayers still. Not only for us but for any birth mother/father and child. We know Heavenly Father has a plan for us and we will trust in his plan. We know he knows what is best for us. Each of us has our agency and we need to be following the things we should do so great things will come our way for sure!

Swimming with great friends

Adopting sealing

Another special day in our family happened yesterday. Alex was sealed to Kimberly and Jason in the temple! We are so happy to have him in our family through the wonderful gift of adoption. Alex sometimes wont let others hold him if Kimberly (his mom) is in the room but in the temple today he was super calm and was as happy as can be. The sealer in the temple said that pretty much all of the time when a child is brought into the temple they are super happy and calm. I can't wait for the day that we are able to do this in about 7 months or so! Thanks for inviting us Kimberly and Jason.